I'm now 25 years old...everybody and their sister is pregnant and having babies. I've been married almost 3 years now to a husband who is scared that a child will prevent him from being young or having a career. I disagree.
International adoption i think is the way we will go if/when we adopt. I'm leaning toward Russia for multiple reasons. I'd love to have a little girl to raise.
Adoption is EXPENSIVE. There are many many many foundations, grants, tax credits and such to help assist those who do not have a lot of money...like my husband and I.
I had this idea today that....when we get to the point of seriously looking to adopt...of making little matryoshka dolls and sell them on my Etsy shop...having all proceeds of the sale help support the adoption. Then I started thinking...how do people FEEL about a family raising funds to help support an adoption?
As a Christian I feel like we are called to care for the orphans. Are we all called to adopt? Of course not...but I almost feel it's like how we look at missionaries...we're not all called to GO but we should all be supporting those who DO. Should adoption be viewed in the same manner in the Christian community? Is it tacky? Scott and I are far from wealthy, currently we have a verrrrrry tight budget. We wouldn't start the adoption process until our credit card debt is fully gone (student loans will exist until my death...I'm convinced). We want to be at a place financially that we can support a child...but paying out adoption fees, flights, etc is so much money. The $13k tax credit from the gov't wouldn't help til AFTER the fact...
What are your thoughts?
I am a mother of an internationally adopted daughter & can relate very well to all of the things, wants & questions that you are writing about. My husband & I tried to conceive for almost three years, naturally & medically. When it came to the fork in the medical road of "you can either take a break & see if it just happens or try IVF". We opt'd to stop treatment & let the big man upstairs decide or parental future.
ReplyDeleteI still remember waking up the day before thanksgiving, turning to my husband & saying " we are adopting, this is what we are going to do!" He was shocked, but delighted to hear what I had wanted to do was something he to had hoped to do someday, but never wanted to bring it up for the fear of hurting my feelings in wanting to experience pregnancy & birth first hand.
We found an agency right after the holiday, filled out our application, attended our informational meeting...this is where we learned that it would cost us $30,000 when all was said & done. Swallowing hard, letting my stomach drop, wanting to cry that there was no way...i said "ok..." We have no choice, if it is meant to be, it will work out. We did several fundraisers(didn't make a whole lot maybe $800, but that was more than we had started with) once we told family, ocassionally we would receive cards with money in them. We applied for grants never got approved, yet I wad convinced this was going to happen & we pressed on. We finally stumbled upon a very high interest loan that we were able to be financed with & had 7 years to pay it off.
This January 2012 we made our last $600 a month payment & as much as we are releaved we are so happy we never stopped pursuing parenthood!
We also got a surprise that we never thought would happen 3 years later I gave birth to a baby girl & my two beautiful girls are the best of friends. Miracles really do happen!
So I say go for it, do a fundraiser, benefit, garage sale, dinner what have you...if people aren't willing or don't believe they won't buy or participate, but I bet you would have a great turnout!
As far as your husband being concerned that starting will change him...it WILL, but it will change him for the better & WILL love every minute as soon as he holds his son or daughter for the first time. Scared is ok, it is natural, never be afraid to go for what you want.
Good luck to you & your decision...children are so worth the struggle!
Jamie
Js.brazil@hotmail.com
I am a new reader and and only just read this first blog. (I just bought some patterns off of your etsy site and saw your link!)
ReplyDeleteI say totally go for it! I know many couples who have adopted and their lives have been greatly blessed b/c of it! God is in control and will provide if this is indeed from him!
~Janelle